[	mood	|	excited	]
[	music	|	Guster - Satellite	]

Even France doesn't like you. You have no chance.

[	mood	|	tired	]
[	music	|	Sum 41 - 88	]

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max
Winning The Future: A 21st Century Contract with America by Newt Gingrich
The Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox
Red, White, and Liberal: How Left is Right, and Right is Wrong by Alan Colmes
Memoirs of a Geisha by Andrew Golden
Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit by Daniel Quinn
Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
Julius Caesar and King Henry Part I & II by William Shakespeare
So, What's The Difference? by Fritz Ridenour
Your Favorite Seuss: A Baker's Dozen by the One and Only Dr. Seuss by Dr. Seuss

I took off the Wesley Clark one and substituted in Maddox's "The Alphabet of Manliness". Was it worth the $15.95 I spent on it? Absolutely. I reccommend it to everyone. Canterbury Tales, but my opinion is probably a little tainted as the Middle English is a difficult hurdle. Now I'm on to Morgan's suggestion: Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins. It better be good.

Four more days.

[	mood	|	satisfied	]
[	music	|	Inspection 12 - French Subtitles	]

I'm not going to lie. Sometimes (see: all the time) I say what's on my mind before it has a chance to be filtered by the censor that is my own brain. That doesn't mean that it isn't true. It just means that it's inappropriate for the situation at hand. And yes, a "for example" is coming right up.

So a family comes into work today and it's my table, so I go out there, put on that same old shit-eating grin and greet the table. For the purpose of this story, I'm going to pretend they were the only ones sitting there.

It's a mother, a daughter and a father. Sound boring yet? Well, the daughter and father were deaf. It's sad, but I bet half of you just skipped down to this sentence because you saw the word "deaf." Whatever. I probably would have too.

Anyway, so the mother orders and then "translates" the hand gestures of the deaf daughter and father. The girl wants a Shirley Temple (Sprite with cherry juice stuff). She also wants extra cherries. I bring the Sprite mixed with cherry juice stuff and proceed to tell the mother "I'll be right back with some extra cherries." She responds with a raising of the (no lie) right nostril, a scoff, and a "umm...can we get some umbrellas in this thing? You know...a Shirley Temple?"

Strike one.

I get the umbrellas and the extra cherries and as I turn to answer another customer, another scoff with this accompanying statement:

"Ummm...this umbrella is a little crooked. Can she get a new one? Preferably a better color than the yellow you picked out..."

Strike two.

I get a blue umbrella to match the shirt of the deaf daughter when I am greeted with a third request. "Can I also get some chopsticks for my daughter?" "Sure," I reply, "I'll bring them out after I get the drink orders for these other customers."

She then leans in and says "Can you not see she is deaf? Don't you think these two should get a little special treatment?"

Strike three.

"No. Do you?" At this, the other customers are obviously taken aback. "Yes," she replies, "I do believe she should get some extra attention at a restaurant."
"Why?" I ask.
"Because..." she says.
"Because why?"
"Because I say so." she snaps back.
"Ma'am," I say, "if that didn't work for my Mom, it sure won't work for you."
"She's deaf!"
"Yes ma'am...she is. She also probably wants to be treated just as equally as the rest of the customers at this table."

At this she looks at her husband who has the smuggest grin on his face. I later  found out he could read lips and I'm guessing he understood the entire conversation I had with his wife. I'm guessing he's had this argument more than once with her. I'm also guessing I was on his side.

P.S. He was paying and I got a 40 dollar tip.

[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	Plenty - Lover's Guise	]

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max
Winning The Future: A 21st Century Contract with America by Newt Gingrich
Winning Modern Wars: Iraq, Terrorism, and the American Empire by Wesley Clark
Red, White, and Liberal: How Left is Right, and Right is Wrong by Alan Colmes
Memoirs of a Geisha by Andrew Golden
Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit by Daniel Quinn
Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
Julius Caesar and King Henry Part I & II by William Shakespeare
So, What's The Difference? by Fritz Ridenour
Your Favorite Seuss: A Baker's Dozen by the One and Only Dr. Seuss by Dr. Seuss

I've already started reading Max Tucker's book and it is glorious beyond imagination. Julius Caesar is definitely up there in terms of favorite Shakespearean plays (along with "Taming of the Shrew," "The Tempest," and "Macbeth"). King Henry Parts I & II just didn't do it for me even though Falstaff is an extremely well-written (and well-spoken) character.

[	mood	|	happy	]
[	music	|	Inspection 12 - Here I Am	]

Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max
Winning The Future: A 21st Century Contract with America by Newt Gingrich
Winning Modern Wars: Iraq, Terrorism, and the American Empire by Wesley Clark
Red, White, and Liberal: How Left is Right, and Right is Wrong by Alan Colmes
Memoirs of a Geisha by Andrew Golden
Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit by Daniel Quinn
Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
Julius Caesar and King Henry Part I & II by William Shakespeare
So, What's The Difference? by Fritz Ridenour
Your Favorite Seuss: A Baker's Dozen by the One and Only Dr. Seuss by Dr. Seuss

Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare is up next.